If we do not connect, we do not thrive. In fact, lack of connection often means we do not survive. That’s science, yo.
Connection is at the heart of all living things. Real time, material world connection. Physical. Intellectual. Heart-to-heart. The tiny packets of information transmitted in the locking of a gaze and subsequent looking away. A tentative touch or the strength in the hold of two fiercely loving beings. A kiss on the cheek, forehead, hand. Parent’s hand holding a spoon with nummy foods that go into baby’s mouth.
The nuances in the sound of my voice as I get excited to tell you the thing that happened to me the other day, and the hush that occurs when I realize my excitement betrayed the vulnerability of the sharing. The way the words take shape in my mouth and spill out. The way you lean in to hear more, then validate, and refer to your own experience, and empathize.
Libra teaches us about the value connection, and inherent in that: empathy. That process of listening and thinking and then sympathizing and relating. Libra is deep listening. Perspective. Recognition that there is something other than me, and that I want to learn from it.
A commitment to connecting in healthy and enhancing ways, to ourselves and each other, is the foundation for a renewed connection with the earth. That relationship with she who holds us, feeds us, shelters us and nurtures us is a fundamental memory that must be made into a technique now. Through noticing. The beauty and peace right in there amongst the struggle and the fight.
It requires us to delve into our past. Our conditionings. To look inward at how we’ve become who we are, why we love what we love, why we hate what we hate. To look outward at the connections we’ve built and sustained, as well as those we’ve let go of.
To understand the ways we have been conditioned by the forces of our civilization and its religions, and the ways injustice has been woven into every institution we have — even the ones we revere. The ways thousands of years of war have fed upon and kept alive our fears: of pain, struggle, suffering, lack. Of dying alone. In a cell. On a pyre. Deprived of inherent, life-giving connection because of a belief or an imperfection.
Libra helps us understand the parts of us that hide, minimize, and play all kinds of roles in order to keep the peace. Sometimes because that is actually our role, sure. But other times because of some deeply ingrained fear that failing to adapt and placate will result in pain. We were conditioned, often in childhood, to adapt to or even anticipate imbalances in our homes so that we could keep the peace. This is shadow Libra.
This new moon marks the beginning of the season of reconnecting with our relationships, at least astrologically speaking. Libra, the zone of the sky through which the Sun travels now, and Scorpio, where the Sun is heading next, are the signs of interpersonal relationships.
But there is no Libra without justice, diplomacy and peace — three concepts we desperately (OK, maybe calmly but fiercely) need to invoke at the collective level now.
We have such a hard time with justice, however. It’s so easy sometimes to let the notion of justice merge with all of our personal hurts, our familial pain, millennia of wrongdoing… until it becomes conflated with vengeance. We let all that pain flow forward, unaware we are trying to punish, hurt, destroy those who many times are products and victims of the same distorted and destructive conditioning, systems and codes as us.
We project. Libra helps us understand the function of projection, and the ways we know the deepest parts of ourselves, the parts hidden from our conscious minds, through recognizing them in others. And if we hate that part of ourselves? Oh, the vehemence that flows up and out of us when we seem to encounter it in the outside world.
It requires a stunning level of insight and objectivity, compassion and fierceness to hold enough space to enact justice without furthering cycles of harm in the outer world. It is a privilege to have the fortitude AND resources to access guidance into our own inner worlds so we can shed light on our own shadows and do a little less projecting of them. But this act is, as one Carl Jung puts it, our highest moral obligation. The reclamation of our own projections so that we can let others be who we are, free of the clutter of our own unconscious and unresolved psychic material, is the work of a lifetime for those who are called to do it.
After all, I can’t force you to change. But I sure as hell can dive into myself to see where that nastiness lives in me, too.
This journey into our deepest selves and our ancestry to get to the psychology of how and why we hate and criticize ourselves can be harrowing. To recognize how that psychology and those patterns have taken form in the world around us and the disentangle can be a Herculean task.
This New Moon happens alongside some cranky astrology (with Venus and Mercury just coming through a square to the nodes and Saturn, and will be close to a square with Pluto) and some visionary astrology (Venus sextile Jupiter; Jupiter square Neptune). Combine the two and we have some fairly explicit opportunities — or at least patterns to watch for.
I’m compelled most by the fact that the ruler of this lunation, Venus, is in her home in Libra. However, she will also be square the nodes of the Moon and Saturn, and entering her square with Pluto.
Translation? What we’re looking at here is the potential from old patterns of self-sacrifice, surrender and minimizing to come up. Our tendencies to rationalize bad behavior into being acceptable (“He does it because he loves me.” “I know I said I’d never put up with this again, but this time is different.”). Ways we minimize ourselves and our own needs in order to keep the peace. Times we play roles because that’s what’s expected of us — to the detriment of who we actually are. This week sees opportunities to work through those patterns… or perhaps to re-imprint them.
When dealing with the square between Libra and Capricorn, we’re looking at relationships and patterns of conditioning that are imposed on us by family and society and that affect the ways we relate. What we’re experiencing now is an opportunity for healing of the inner child (or outer, as the case might be), and with it ancestral healing. The North Node of the Moon in Cancer points the way to the medicine: Gentleness. Nurturing the bonds we hold nearest and dearest. Loving rather than shaming. Emotional maturation. Taking stock of our emotions and riding out the waves.
The Moon in Libra, as ruler of that North Node, suggests taking an objective view, or zooming out, while understanding there is a risk of dissociating or bypassing.
This lunar cycle also invites us to examine the concept of conditional love. Not in an arrogantly selfish or immature way. But in a boundaried way. For so many of us, we’ve had lifetimes of Libran patterns of minimizing ourselves, trying to be polite, losing touch with who we are outside of the roles we play to keep others happy. The medicine of conditional love, then, is finding the balance, inner peace and compassionate detachment it takes to say: “I love you, but it is not okay for you to treat me that way. I need to see change in these ways, or I need to walk away from this.”
Or, “I see you’re struggling and in pain, but I am feeling overwhelmed and need to take some time to myself.”
Libra is oh so good at seeing all sides of the situation, but it’s easy to forget that all sides includes our own.
This New Moon supports a breather. Taking an opportunity to beautify your space — whatever that means to you. Harmonize with your inner child, you partner, your cat. Your voice! Be present in your surroundings.
Remember that love as an act of service that is not boundaryless but well thought out and formed. Connect with the earth and sky, and remember: we have so much work to do in there here and now to ensure a beautiful existence for us all for as long as we dare to dream. But balance requires stillness at times, too. Recharging and regeneration. The rustling of wind through trees…
New Moon in 5 degrees Libra
Exact September 28, 2019 at 11:26am(Pacific)
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Stay tuned for the imminent release of Deconstructing the Myth of Soulmate: A Six-Week Process of Relational Empowerment (it’s a class with written lessons, guided visualizations, energy healings, ritual, writing prompts and oh so much more. Heck Yeah.)