What you’ll read below was sent out to my mailing list. It’s the first of four update/announcement emails. I won’t be posting the rest of them here, but figured some folks are indeed subscribed to this site, and might like the update as well. HOPEFULLY my writing mojo will come back soon? And if so, there will be lots more to read here.
Hello again, friends.
Where to start?
I’ve been fairly quiet in the last several months. I’ve continued working with folks one on one and teaching, but when it comes to commentary on the world situation, I’ve consistently come up short. I definitely haven’t been willing to send out anything that even vaguely feels like it’s trying to sell services — even though I do believe that my services are pretty relevant right now. It just hasn’t felt right.
Pardon me while I talk about my personal life for a minute or two. I’m doing so to perhaps provide context about why I’ve been quiet, and where I’m taking Aquarian Spirals now.
In some ways, the corona-virus pandemic has been completely in alignment with what I thought was going to happen this year. And yet, I did not expect a virus. I did not expect that I, as so many others, would be forced to stay physically separate from the very community I’d built up to not only get me through this period, but the community I kinda planned to change the world with. There is a lot to be said for direct human contact, and although I am an introvert, I do much better with the option of touch.
I have had my share of personal crises in the past few months. The thing is, though, that I personally have been in and out of crisis for the past three years — otherwise known as my Pluto square. It started with one massive surgery (and the accompanying stage one ovarian cancer diagnosis), and continued through trying to get doctors to properly treat me for surgical menopause. That flowed into learning I needed to have another major surgery which ended up being far worse than the first, with several harrowing complications (both physical and interpersonal). Finally, last summer I found a doctor who dug enough into my symptoms to discover that I have chronic Lyme Disease & Co-Infections alongside a few other chronic illnesses. The past three years have rocked me, and totally transformed so many parts of my identity. It’s a lot to adapt to.
The beginning of 2020, I was starting to feel like myself again — like, pre-2017 me, but stronger. Way more able to start bringing my attention away from my inner world, survival needs, and health stuff. I had goals and visions for this year, many of which involved supporting y’all through the muck of it all, however that muck showed up.
I launched my first EA Intensive, which ended up running for three months in the thick of the pandemic, providing incredible structure and focus for my life (and for those of you who were along for the ride, I hope). But mostly, when the pandemic started, I was once again thrown off course. All of that momentum once again just kinda sputtered and died as I returned to the familiar feeling of getting myself through crisis. I was able to see my pre-existing commitments through, but haven’t had the bandwidth to create anything new or offer additional support to all of you.
The difference for me in this crisis is that everyone around me has been in it, too. Which all at once helped and yet didn’t. It’s been a wild ride, as you all know. I feel like I’m personally stabilizing again, or at least finding a bit of solid ground. I don’t know how long that will last, but I’m soaking it up. There is still so much letting go happening. Many of you will have heard already that we’ve had to let go of our lease at Madrona House, which was heart breaking but necessary.
I’m also trying to make plans for how I can best support myself AND my clients through the next few months, which I do believe will be more intense and perhaps difficult than the first half of the year. I don’t say that to scare you. But I do believe folks need to prepare — physically/materially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually — for darker days ahead. And more specifically, to continue fighting for justice and human rights.
For those of you who’ve been working with me for years, even in passing or in small doses, everything we’ve done together has been to prepare you for this moment. The visualizations, the meditation practices, the astrology-learning, the Tools for Empaths. All of it. Like you, I often have a difficult time remembering to use those tools. But when I do they make such a difference and I encourage you to remember and practice what you’ve learned — especially that daily practice thing.
I do believe that kind of inner work helps influence the outer. But one thing I’ve been grappling with is the knowledge that that’s not enough. Part of keeping astrology and soul work modalities accessible and relevant means encouraging my clients, particularly my white clients, and myself to dig in and do our own anti-oppression work in order to dismantle white supremacy and white supremacist structures and systems. In the past, I’ve very much let clients come to that understanding on their own and in their own time. Right now, however, as we see that covid-19 disproportionately effects communities of color, particularly Black and Latinx communities… as we see that police forces respond with rubber bullets, pepper spray and brutal force to folks protesting police brutality, while letting armed white citizens march on city halls to protest wearing masks or stay at home orders that are attempting to ensure all of us survive this pandemic with zero response of force… we are being confronted with systemic inequity and violence that is so difficult to face, and yet… we have to face it so we can work through it. .
I could not move forward with marketing my work, or with going back to full fledged Full Moon calls (although I have been doing them in a smaller capacity) and things like that until I had the strength to be articulate enough to speak at increasingly public levels about how THAT fight — the fight against white supremacist culture and its institutions — is way more important than astrology. Astrology can facilitate that fight. Astrology can help you dig into your own stuff so that you can become a person better equipped to participate in that fight. But astrology that exists as a way to escape into our own worlds or shut out the fact that our world is burning, and a new one has to be created — well, I’m not interested in that. I never have been, but it’s more important that I lead with that fact now.
So I’m back again, with this Leo Full Moon (which I did write a bit about). Perhaps our movement forward together will look similar to how it always has, with me writing in fits and starts (writing has gotten SO HARD for me!), with the material I create sometimes being all about your inner world, and sometimes all about the outer. But I wanted to just give you an update about where I’ve been and where my headspace is at moving forward. Which is, to put it more succinctly, a space of figuring out how we can revolutionize the ways we relate to ourselves and the world so that we can break down systems of oppression and rebuilt something… well, glorious.
In the next few days, I’ll be sending you more emails. Each will contain a special announcement. Then I will go back to the very sporadic emails you’re used to, and trust that if you want more goodness, you’ll find me on Facebook or Patreon.
One of the definite highs of my life has been getting to work with all of you. Thank you so much for doing the work you do in the world. And thanks for reading!