Libra New Moon 2022

Collaged this image a few months ago. Woke up thinking about it today.

The practice of pondering energy near a New Moon is one that's near and dear to my heart. And oh, how my heart has been speaking to me this weekend. Using breath to feel space within me and around me. Leaning hard into the relationships I have with songs and albums I've loved with my whole heart. Leaning hard into relationships with my guides. Releasing ancient grief.

My eyes have leaked rivers in the last week. And for the first time in so long: I cannot identify the source. This grief rises up without phrasing or story. No echolocation devices point to roots of the crisis within my soul. No colors or stray thoughts or childhood memories. It challenges me to just feel and release and then breathe into the spaciousness that is left behind. The quiet bliss of emptiness and silence.

There is something bittersweet and tender about this New Moon. An inflection point. Remembrance of what it means to exist as a being who has no choice but to be awake to and aware of what it means to exist at a time when so much is dying.

I give Libra a hard time. It's a sign that carries the weight of bullshit patriarchal misogynist conditioning in ways that make me want to riot.

I don't want peace as absence of war. I don't want perfection as a blonde haired clamshell goddess. I actively reject the notion that you're nobody til somebody loves you. I get pissed off when nice is mistaken for kind.

I want peace as the experience of being safe enough to fully experience the present moment. Perfection as radiant connection with authenticity and loving kindness. Radical reverence for all relationships so that we remember the interconnectedness of all things. The ability to see all sides without falling into placation or ambivalence.

World as lover, world as self.